Who am I to argue?

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A couple of weeks after I returned from Kilimanjaro I received two unexpected yet welcome pieces of mail. First, a note of encouragement from a retired oncology nurse. This woman doesn’t know me. I assume she read my story in the local paper. She congratulated me on my recovery and urged me to keep it up. I’m touched that she would think about me in the midst of her busy life. She has confirmed what I already knew; nurses are extraordinary people. Oncology nurses in particular have a special calling. They work incredibly hard caring for critically ill people. Some patients, like me, can be a pain in the butt. I think I’m funny, but I’m not sure the nurses always agreed.

She also sent me a graphic that said, “Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass. It’s about learning to dance in the rain.” Yup I agree with that. There is no sense waiting around for things to happen. You can enrich the life you’re living today. No matter what the circumstance you can get out of bed in the morning with goals for the day. When I finally came home from the hospital, my goal was to walk ten steps further than I did the day before. My first day I walked from the car to the kitchen, and then I needed a rest. It was about 10 steps so I figured the next day I would double the distance! Kilimanjaro was not on my radar screen I promise you that.

Did I have a great positive attitude every day? No. Somedays I cried, whined, and felt sorry for myself. That usually passed quickly since nobody wants to listen to me whine, especially me. Many days I was extremely frustrated with my progress. That feeling persists today. I still have issues with fatigue and memory. I can’t remember if I used to have a good memory, but I think I did. Ugh, I’m getting tired thinking about it. I question if I will ever completely recover. All I can do is try my best. The only thing I control is my attitude.

Back to my unexpected correspondence. I also received a letter from The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. They want to give me an award!? LLS funded the research that saved my life. I feel like I should give them an award. Honestly, it baffles me. I’ve done a couple of fundraisers for LLS. That’s it. What I have done for LLS pales in comparison to what they have done for me. In addition to life saving research, they provide online discussion boards, which have been extremely helpful to me. They offer more patient services than I can list here. In the future, I would like to motivate others to fund raise, but to date I’ve done little. Well I intend to accept my award graciously however undeserved it seems to me. Who am I to argue?

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