Apparently, I have entered the whiny cranky phase of my cancer journey. Lately I have been feeling down because of the aftermath of treatment. I had a bone density test last week and the results are Osteopenia. I’m not yet 55 and I already have degeneration of my bones. Chemotherapy and Prednisone, which I was on for an extended amount of time, are the culprits.
My feet have been bothering me since I returned from Kilimanjaro and my knees have been killing me for 2 or 3 weeks. All of this makes me feel old and vulnerable. Should I buy my walker now or wait until I fracture my hip? Come to think of it, I have a walker in the closet. It’s good to be prepared. When I first got out of the hospital, I was so happy to be alive nothing else mattered. Well the bloom is off the rose. Now I’m coping with the repercussions of treatment. In addition to having Osteopenia, I am at an increased risk for both breast and skin cancer. Great, something to look forward to.
While wallowing in self-pity I went on the LLS web site. I participate in several online groups so I was looking for someone to commiserate with. Instead, I found a woman with the exact same leukemia as me. Her name is Miranda. She was diagnosed in January with Acute Myeloid Leukemia with the FLT3 genetic mutation. The FLT3 mutation increases the chance of relapse exponentially. She was looking for someone who could relate to her situation. Miranda has relapsed and the hospital will readmit her Monday. She will undergo grueling 7&3 induction chemo (intravenous chemo 24/7 with additional chemo the first 3 days) again. Hopefully, this will put her cancer into remission. The doctors are searching for a bone marrow donor, which is her best chance of survival.
Her post brought me to tears. Steve was surprised to find me in the kitchen staring at my phone and weeping. Suddenly everything came flooding back. You have AML with FLT3. That statement changed my life forever. When the doctors explained what it meant I was scared out of my mind. Instantly I am reminded how well things have gone for me.
After that devastating diagnosis, everything went my way. First, I had the good fortune to live near Mass. General, a world-class medical institution. Induction chemo successfully subdued my cancer into remission the first time. If the cancer doesn’t go into remission they up the chemo dosage and repeat the treatment which would be horrible. Miraculously I had an unrelated 100% matching bone marrow donor. That saved my life. Without a donor, my chance of relapse was extremely high. I have had few complications from the transplant. Only minor issues that are manageable. I consider myself exceedingly lucky. In fact, I am the luckiest person I know.
You looked great the other night, perhaps hiding your crankiness and soreness. Keep up the good work. SherpaTom
Keep on keeping on, Gayle! You have a great attitude, you and I both know that you’re still here for a reason!